Well, I did it. I created what must be the most horrifying piece of millinery anyone's ever worn – save from that thing Princess Beatrice was wearing at the recent Royal Wedding – and wore it in public, at a wedding shower for a co-worker. With people I see every day. Almost. Yes, I tossed aside all dignity with both hands. And why, you ask?
BECAUSE THERE WERE PRIZES! And because I never win anything, except that really awesome bike I won from The Children's Place raffle – the one I picked up the weekend Princess Diana died, so I'll never forget the approximate date. It was an incredibly expensive bike, a Trek I think, and I intended to give it to my daughter once she was old enough to ride it, which took about a decade or so. But that's okay. That's why there are garages. All that matters is I WON SOMETHING!
And what did I win in the category of Person Who Least Values Her Reputation as a Professional?
Maybe it was an iPod!
Or a TV!
Or a Gutenberg Bible!
Or not.
But, whatever it was, it must have been something GREAT for me to put my dignity on the line, right?
Not so much.
So, Lisa, what have we learned from this? Think! Think! I have to mull it over some more, while I'm sitting in the corner weeping because people took photos of me at the shower, so no one (NO ONE!) will miss my shining moment. And because the library has a blog (A BLOG!), Facebook (FACEBOOK!) and the ability to splash my moment all over the place.
Think I can fake leprosy or bubonic plague for a month or two? How likely are people to remember the hat if my fingers fall off?
Bloody hell.
Bluestalking 
Oh, go on! It’s charming! You would have had absolutely no trouble getting into Kate and Will’s wedding wearing that.
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I love it! And your courage. You are such a trend setter!
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Gal Pal, you’ll be seeing this hat all over the place soon, as everyone scrambles to make knock offs. Family Dollar, be prepared for a deluge!
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Persephone, I still believe my invitation must have been lost in the mail. Surely the Royal Family recalls the time I was in Dundee and saw them walking down the street, post-church, H.R.H. accoutred in her lovely powder blue ensemble and the Duke of Edinburgh looking rather spiff in his nice suit. You simply cannot rely on the postal service these days. Next time I’ll request a footman.
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If you called her “HRH”, that might be your problem right there. Philip’s the HRH. It’s “Your Majesty” if she speaks to you, and “Ma’am” if she deigns to speak to you again…
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Persephone, Whoopsies! That could very well have been the problem. I didn’t realize Mr. Queen Elizabeth was a Highness! I thought he was addressed as Duke so and so, since he’s not a king – poor thing.So, if H.R.H. dies, does Elizabeth become H.R.H.? Also, do you think she was offended I called her, “Liz, old chum!” Drats. I need a copy of royal protocol.
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Nothin’ easier. These Canuck guidelines also work for Americans (even though she’s our Queen and not yours, so there, nyah-nyah): http://www.pch.gc.ca/eng/1287067275126/1287067606502
When in doubt, the Red Queen’s advice to Alice always works: “Curtsey when you’re thinking what to say; it saves time.”
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Persephone – The Red Queen also said, “Off with her head!”
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This posting was hilarious, and though I would never have been caught dead in this, it’s actually quite lovely in a flea market crafty sort of fashion. The ivy wrapped around the brim was a great accent 🙂
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Jennifer – I can always make you a duplicate, should you change your mind… 😉 Très chic! It’ll be on all the Paris runways next spring. I mean the airport runways.
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