From the family who puts the "fun" in dysfunctional, my family wishes you and yours a very happy holiday.

Even if you don't celebrate, just have a drink or something. We aren't picky. A good day here involves no trips to the emergency room. So remember, the lower your standards the less you'll be disappointed.

Words to live by.

By the way, if you really pay attention to the gingerbread man and the snowman on the left of this photo you'll notice one is trying to stab the other. That's called a twisted bit of cookie violence my children consider to be hilariously funny. I'm sure it'll be brought up in therapy, sometime when they're grown and have their own insurance policies.

At least I stopped them before they added the fake blood.

Have a wonderful, safe and happy holiday. And remember, it could always be worse. You could be US. Consider yourselves lucky.

And normal.

With love,

The Guidarinis