Can't believe as of June I'll have been blogging here four years. Wowzers.
When I go back and look at my early posts they just look so odd. Before I started considering photography a more serious hobby I took some really crappy (technical term) pictures. And the style? Well, similarly goofy but in general less meaty. Still me, just less mature. Not that I'm mature NOW.
Oh, forget it.
Some people publish their blogs to have a hard copy of their work, and I'm considering that. After four years there'll be lots that's useless – posts about silly things, etc. It will be a huge, honkin' book filled with my many thousands of musings. Some I'll enjoy reading through, others will probably make me cringe. I wrote THAT for public consumption?!
But, yeah. Four years. That's a long time to write steadily, to discipline yourself enough to post at least every few days. Sometimes several times a day, when the spirit moves.
Yet still I wonder, what is my theme? Books play a hefty role, and are the reason I started blogging in the first place. I got on the bandwagon when some friends of mine were likewise bitten by the bug to try it out, and all of us were bookish. Actually, we spun off a book discussion list, which tells you how bookish IS bookish:
In addition to book reviewing, I've also blogged about my family, my ongoing battle with depression, and now and then the occasional furious political post. Some of which I regret putting out there, but oh well. That's the least of my life regrets, and any negative feedback I got from that rolled right off my back.
All things considered, I guess you'd say I'm a varied blogger. Eclectic would be my word choice (because I like that better than "nut case"), though sometimes I worry I'm a bit too much all over the place. And yes, I know, many have told me that's what they like – the variety. I'm not so focused I'm out to compete with MAJOR BOOK BLOGS, but I've received my share of attention for being literary (ha, suckers!). Just icing on the cake.
Then there's the photography, which boomed from an off and on thing to a passion, from a little point and shoot digital camera to an SLR with a zillion dollars in lenses. I'm not a master of that, either, by any means, operating on the theory if you take enough photos one or two are bound to be good.
Point of fact, I'm not a master of anything. I'm a dabbler, but what's constant is my love of books and reading. Hence the literature degree, the library degree, the off and on review columns, etc. My interests are wide. So wide I can hardly contain them. Part of that's the bipolar. It causes passions when I'm up, blackness when I'm down. But overall I spend more time in my mind than the average person. It's a lot like Alice in Wonderland in there. You never know whom you'll meet, and things don't always make sense. I cannot be bored anywhere or anytime as long as I bring my mind with me. And a notebook and pen.
I don't know writer's block, not to say what I write is masterful, but there's never a time I feel unable to put pen to paper, or hand to keyboard. Ever. Yes, I have parts of novels sitting around. And yes, attention span is a problem, but the more words you write the more likely it is something will be decent. I must be at least as talented as the proverbial pool of monkeys who eventually produce the works of Shakespeare. Just with less fleas.
I guess it's a blessing and a curse, depending on how you like your blog reading. I'll never please everyone no matter what I do. And that's not why I started blogging in the first place. It's an outlet for passions, a disciplined writing exercise. And I could narrow focus a bit, using handwritten journals to contain the overflow of my mind (which I already do, so imagine my posts here if I DIDN'T), but I'd always creep back to doing what I was doing before. Been there, tried that.
Overall, I'm glad I stuck with it. There were times I thought of pulling the plug, and there will be other times that will cross my mind. For all its imperfections, I'm fond of Bluestalking. It's an extension of me, a part of my personality I don't always show, but something deeply rooted in what makes me me.
And I guess I like that. So I'll keep moving forward. Here's to the first four years. Where it'll go from here I have no idea. But thanks for coming along for the ride. I've loved having you all with me.