Oh, no! I will not Nanowrimo!

I would not, could not swing a cat!

I would not, could not eat a rat!

I will not do it here or there!

I will not do it anywhere!

Especially if I can pay someone else to do it for me!

[Sorry. Fell out of character/rhyme scheme.]

I will not do Nanowrimo!

I will not do it, Uncle… Schmo?

God, that took forever. Glad that's over. And yeah, it didn't even end up rhyming. Suck it up, buttercup. You get what you pay for.

I'm not writing a novel this month. Don't even ask. Like I don't have enough to do without promising I'll write 50,000 words in the month of November? If they can be nonsensical words, okay. Just click back through a couple hundred of my past posts and you'll have nonsensical. More than you can handle. It's been known to make strong men weak. And weak men even weaker. And weaker men? We must not speak of this…

Anyway. Instead of doing something constructive like writing a nonsensical novel, I'm going to another gong bath tonight, another meditative session in which a trained musician dude plays gongs and other various instruments of torture in order for the music to permeate us, bringing us to all new heights of … of… I don't know. Peace? Love? Unity? A use for that spare $20 you have lying around?

I just hope I don't fall asleep and snore, like I did last time. The strange dude lying next to me (not something you can say without getting in trouble that often, now, is it) did look at me kind of funny when we put our stuff away in the stuff closet. I'm pretty sure I was snoring in his ear, and I felt mighty guilty about it. But how do you apologize for that?

"Gee, dude. Sorry I made all that noise. Hope I didn't keep you from reaching a state of higher enlightenment."

Just sounds goofy to me. Better to do what I did: pretend it didn't happen.  Like when you think something's going to be silent, and it winds up so NOT. Then you have to pretend it was the chair, or your shoe on the floor (helps if your shoe's rubber and the floor's wood), or – my favorite – the dog. As in, "Jesus, Taffy! What have you been eating?"

Okay.  How did I get here from talking about Nanowrimo? Anyone paying enough attention to notice that? Thought not.

Now, if you'll excuse me I am going to prepare myself for attaining a heightened state of awareness. I fully expect I may see God. Or if not, my escort upon life's journey. That dude over there, the one dressed in… is it red? I don't know. There's too much smoke and steam rising. I can vaguely make out something pointy on his head. I'm sure he's wearing a hat. Or maybe he's an elf?

Do have a lovely evening. Weather will be glorious here all weekend, so think of me whilst I'm sitting at the car dealer, having the STUPID CAR FIXED. AGAIN.

Oh, and TOYOTA SUCKS.

See? Words I have. Coherence? Not so much. Talk to me next November. Unless you're the dude I was lying next to. In that case, I doubt you'll ever speak to me again. Not that you did before.

Oh shut up!

I'm. Going. Now.