Very bad things happen when dogs eat a complete pack of chewing gum. Things sordid and terrifying, spoken of only in whispers, by those who have taken a vow never to reveal to the world the true horror of the "events," lest the human mind find itself incapable of handling the extent of the truth.
It is my belief the people who have full access to this knowledge are the same who keep watch over the Ark of the Covenant, turning their backs on the world so they may devote themselves single-mindedly and without distraction to this holiest of holy relics. To its care, its safety, its continued existence.
**So now I must leave, to join them in their solitude. To the far deserts of Ethiopia go I. Because my eyes have seen, and my nose smelled. There is no turning back. Yea, verily. I wish there were. Would that I could scrub it all from my brain.
Ah, but such is not possible. The image is indelible.
** Realizing I have just compared the Ark of the Covenant to the "mortal remains" left in both my living and dining rooms, I fully expect to be struck dead within 24 hours. Thank you, and good night.