I heart Ayelet Waldman! Watch this space.

Badmother 

 

Yes!

She totally nailed it. It's possible to love your children with all your heart without making them the be all and end all of your existence. Women don't exist solely to be mothers. We should not define ourselves by our role as a mother, or not a mother if that's the case. The world should not spin around our children. Yes, we love them, yes, we feed, water, shelter and pay out the butt for them, but there is more to our lives than our children.

They need to see mom taking care of mom, dad taking care of dad, mom and dad having time without children, mom and dad as a separate entity, while also their biggest fans, their anchors, the ones they can always depend on. Otherwise, what you'll have on your hands are spoiled brats who think they make the sun rise and set.

Pssst…! They don't.

I put this book on interlibrary loan when it was still on order at my library, and it came in before I expected it. Though it's jumping its place in line, I let it. And boy howdy, I'm glad I did.

More later …

Ayelet-waldman 

Ayelet Waldman. More than just Michael Chabon's wife, too.

11 thoughts on “I heart Ayelet Waldman! Watch this space.

  1. I am totally reading this…. when I get a hold of it, that is. I remember the big controversy over her saying her husband was #1 a few years back & totally got it. She wasn’t saying she didn’t love and adore her children, she was saying that her husbands needs and hers came first and that is GOOD. It doesn’t mean she is forgoing feeding her children or letting them run feral in the streets because she and her husband want to watch TV or have sex instead of taking care of them. It means that all of their little needs and desires do not get her full attention. And they will grow up better for it. She and her husband won’t get divorced as soon as the kids move out because they have a relationship other than caring for the kids together. And the kids will have the rest of their lives to figure out what needs and wants are really worth being met and how they, themselves, can meet them without relying on mommy & daddy to wave their magic wands and procuring it.
    Let us know how it is!

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  2. loresinger

    Thank you for this wonderful book site!
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    Book Talk will keep you updated weekly on inspiring, motivational and informational books. A complete list of podcasts are provided here http://conversationslive.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=16&Itemid=26
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    Thanks for swinging through!

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  3. HEE HEE HEEE! Somehow I knew you’d appreciate this one. It took me forever getting Obama anywhere near the right size, if it makes you feel any better. But damn, he dug that cake.
    What makes me throw up in my mouth a little is seeing the gd C-words are #3 in the NL Central, while the CHICAGO WHITE SOX are at # 4 in the AL Central. But it’s close. Soooo close. And it’s early in the season yet.

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  4. Liz, Waldman is wonderful. She really says it like it is, warts and all. She sprinkles humor through the book, too. Just enough of it, and when you least expect it. Great stuff!

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  5. Liz, cool! I had a feeling you’d like it better than Heather’s book. It’s not a re-hash of something else, though I heart Heather, too, so shouldn’t say that …
    Bad me.
    I recommend her novel ‘Love and Other Impossible Pursuits,’ too. It kept me company driving back and forth to grad school courses in Rockford, and I enjoyed it.

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