I can't copy this or the AP will have me swinging from the end of a rope. They're very sensitive that way. And by "sensitive" I mean bastards.

But I can direct you to Salon.com, who apparently has permission to reprint articles from the exalted AP. (Genuflect when you say that):

http://www.salon.com/wires/ap/2009/04/08/D97EKQ181_odd_flatulence_fight/

Dear God, please read this. It's way too hilarious for words.